Picture the following: a happy the Danish striker in a Napoli shirt. Next, place it with a sad-looking Benjamin Sesko sporting United's jersey, appearing like he's missed a sitter. Don't bother locating an actual photo of that miss; context is the enemy. Then, add statistics in a big, comical font. Don't forget the emojis. Share the image everywhere.
Would you point out that Højlund's goal count features scores in the Champions League while his counterpart isn't playing in continental tournaments? Of course not. And would you highlight that four of Højlund's goals came against weaker national sides, or that Denmark is far superior to Slovenia and creates many more chances. You run online for a major brand, pure interaction is what pays the bills, Manchester United are the biggest draw, and nuance is the thing to avoid.
So the cycle of online material spins. The next job is to scan a 44-minute interview featuring the legendary goalkeeper and extract the part where he describes the acquisition of Sesko "weird". Just before, where he qualifies his remarks by saying, "I have nothing bad to say about Benjamin Sesko"... yes, cut that. Nobody wants that. Just make sure "weird" and "Sesko" are paired in the headline. People will be furious.
The heart of fall has long been one of my favourite periods to watch football. Leaves fall, the wind turns, squads and strategies are still fresh, all is novel and yet patterns are emerging. The stars of the season ahead are staking their claims. The summer market is closed. No one is talking about the multiple trophies yet. Everyone are in contention. Right now, all is possibility.
Yet, for many of the same reasons, this period has long been one of my least favourite times to read about football. Because although no outcomes are decided, something must always be getting settled. The City winger is resurgent. The German talent has been a crushing disappointment. Could Semenyo be the best player in the league right now? Please an answer now.
And for numerous reasons, Benjamin Sesko feels like Patient Zero in this context, a player caught between football's opposing, unavoidable forces. The imperative to delay final conclusions, allowing layers of technical texture and tactical sophistication to mature. And the demand to produce permanent verdicts, a constant stream of opinions and memes, context-free criticisms and pointless comparisons, a square that can not truly be circled.
I do not propose to provide a substantive evaluation of Sesko's time at United to date. He has been in the lineup four times in the Premier League in a wildly inconsistent team, scored two goals, and taken a grand total of 116 contacts with the ball. What precisely are we analysing? Nor do I propose to duplicate the pundits' seminal masterwork "Argument Over Benjamin Sesko", in which two of England's leading pundits duel passionately on a podcast over whether Sesko needs ten strikes to be deemed successful this year (Neville), or whether it is more like 12 or 13 (the other).
Despite this I loved watching him at his former club: a big, screeching sports car of a forward, playing in a team pitched perfectly to his talents: afforded the freedom to rampage but also the leeway to miss. And in part this is why United feels like the cruellest place he could possibly be right now: a place where "brutal verdicts" are summarily issued in about the time it takes to watch a short advertisement, the club with the widest and most pitiless gulf between the patience and space he needs, and the time and air he is likely to receive.
There was a case of this over the national team pause, when a widely shared chart conveniently stated that Sesko had been deemed – decisively – the poorest acquisition of the summer transfer window by a poll of football representatives. And of course, the press are not alone in such behavior. Club channels, online personalities, unidentified profiles with a suspiciously high number of pornbot followers: all parties with skin in the game is now basically aligned along the same principles, an ecosystem deliberately geared for provocation.
Endless scrolling and tapping. What are we doing to ourselves? Are we aware, on any level, what this infinite stream of aggravation is doing to our minds? Quite apart from the essential weirdness of playing in the center of it all, knowing on a bizarre chain-reaction level that each aspect about them is now basically material, commodity, public property to be repackaged and traded.
Indeed, in part this is because United are United, the entity that continues to feed the cycle, a major institution that must constantly be producing the strong emotions. But also, partly this is a seasonal affliction, a pendulum of opinion most clearly and harshly glimpsed at this time of year, roughly four weeks after the transfer market shut. All summer long we have been desiring footballers, praising them, drooling over them. Yet, only a handful of games later, a lot of those very players are now being dismissed as broken goods. Should we start to be concerned about a new signing? Was Arsenal's purchase of their striker necessary? What was the point of Randal Kolo Muani?
It seems fitting that he faces their rivals on the weekend: a team simultaneously on a long unbeaten run at home in the league and yet in their own state of feverish crisis, like filing a missing person’s report on a person who popped to the shops half an hour ago. Defensively suspect. Mohamed Salah past his prime. Alexander Isak an expensive flop. The coach losing his hair.
Perhaps we have failed to understand the way the storyline of football has started to replace football itself, to inflect the way we view it, an entire sport repivoted around talking points and immediate responses, an activity that happens in the background while we browse through our devices, incapable to detach from the saline drip of opinions and more takes. It may be this player bearing the brunt at present. But in a way, we're all sacrificing something here.
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Lauren Wilson